I love my husband.

So right now the stages that the girls are in effect Mars and I in completely different ways.

I find Jane's stage right now completely endearing. She is using logic more and more, she wants to talk all the time, she likes to snuggle in bed, she likes routine, she is very funny, and is quickly becoming her own little person (and a very smart one at that). She says things like "But mama, I was thinking..." and "Um, so ... how are you?" She enjoys running errands, and going to new places, and she is very polite in public most of the time. Yes, she still throws tantrums sometimes, she runs away from you at inopportune times, and she tends to use a whiny voice when she wants to get her way. She is still a 2 year old. But I love hanging out this this ever developing family member. Mars on the other hand finds her logic newly manipulative, and the whining and constant talking a bit grating.

Macy and I on the other hand are having a harder time. She is a very demanding 5 month old. She likes being held ALL THE TIME, she is hard to put down. She is still waking up a couple times a night, and she is quick to temper, especially if it is about her bottle or being put down to play by herself. And I swear I find her so exhausting right now. She cries in the car seat, she cries in the ergo carrier, she cries in the swing, and she cries in the bouncer. She can finally roll one direction (back to stomach) but once she gets there she is mad, and then cries some more. She has been sick on and off (more on than off, by far) for nearly two months, and she doesn't seem happy most of the time. She is probably teething and has a rash on her face, and she doesn't like having her picture taken. If you are holding her, she is squirming and wants to be adjusted every several minutes. If you put her down, she is only happy if you are sitting right next to her staring at her. She has not developed any ability to soothe herself. And mostly she just wants to have a bottle, and you can see from prior blogs what an experience that is. I did an experiment the other day. I gave her a 6 oz bottle, and 40 minutes later she was fussing, and I gave her another bottle, and she drank all 6 ozs of that, and still cried when it was done. I swear she just seems never happy, and I have no idea what is wrong most of the time. Arg!

Ah, but the joy of a two parent household. Mars and Macy totally connect right now, he says that sleep and food make him pissed-off too, so he seems to get her. She likes his patience to sit and do the same thing all the time. She seems to respond to his love of staying around the house, and since he is just plain stronger than I am, he seems to lug around her 15 pound body with more ease.

I feel bad about this some of the time, but I know this hasn't always been true, and the tides will change again soon enough, and I for one am reminded how wonderful my husband is, and how glad I am that there are two of us doing this.

The most interesting things about the Brownsens... What A Pity?

So my friend Heidi pointed out that something great/horrible will happen, and it is a big news for a few days, but then life goes on. If you don't happen to talk to someone (even someone you are very close with) in those few days, you may discover that you never share it with them. Heidi and I recently found out that as much as we talk about our kids, I never told her that Jane had to go in an ambulance to the hospital in August because she was having difficulty breathing. Jane is totally fine, and it ended up just being really bad croup. When I mentioned it, I couldn't believe I hadn't told Heidi.
See pictures...

So I was thinking that I would share a few interesting (though not as monumental as breathing difficulty, a 911 call, and an ambulance ride) stories with our blogging public. Get you caught-up by way of anecdotes with the Brownsens.

First, Mars: the best story about Mars right now, if the huge fence he has been building in our backyard for the past week. So Cooper officially has a 7+ foot straight leap, and he kept getting out of our yard and into the neighbors yard, so Mars is retrofitting all of our 6 foot walls with the addition of a 4 foot fence on top, and we have a lot of walls around our yard. He is kind of taking a huge joy in it, it looks beautiful, it is way too well made (I swear this fence will withstand a tornado should we ever get one in LA), and it is taking way longer than either of us thought. I will put pictures up soon, but know Mars's (and my) biggest fear is that the fence will finally be finished after much time and money, only for us to discover that Cooper actually has an 11 foot leap. In which case we will officially make him a "house dog" with a small grass patch in the den, and a tire tied around his neck.

Next, Me: Well I have discovered that over that past few weeks when I have been dealing with my gall bladder issue and now finally having it removed, that people say the most inappropriate things, even when their hearts are completely in the right place. For instance a co-worker who I love dearly said "It's no big deal. My mom had her gall bladder removed and she lived for 30 more years" Um I would like to live past my mid-sixties. My insurance agent said, "wow you are too young to have your gall bladder removed" which instantly made me think I was some how in horrible health, even though my doctors have said that I'm pretty healthy, in general. And a doctor said "I mean the worse that can happen is you will have chronic diarrhea and maybe not absorb enough fat from your food, but that is kind of how those fat-blocker medications work for weight loss, so maybe that's no so bad" Arg, a life of loose stool sounds wonderful. Now that I have taken this to a dark place... just know that 9 days post surgery, and I am doing great. I feel good, not very much pain, and everything seems to be working as it should. This time off at home would actually be relaxing if there weren't some guy in my back yard using an air compressor and a nail gun.

Okay now for the comedians in the family....

Macy: she is a super laid back baby, until you cross her. I mean she hasn't rolled over, she seems to be very excited about sitting up, but mainly is happy to have life come to her. She watches everything, she is cautious and loyal, but don't mess with that girl when she is hungry. My Grandma Pat has been visiting, and she has even said that she has never seen a child so into their milk. So if you are feeding her, and you take the bottle away to ...you know.. let some air in and release the super lock vacuum she has on it, or to shake it to make sure the formula is well mixed, or to check the nipple to see if it is blocked, she freaks out. Her face turns instantly red like she has been painful hurt, loud scream that starts as a silent wail, and frantic flailing of arms and legs until she grasps something to hold onto (like your shirt or your neck skin), and seems to pull you toward her, as if to say "Don't you f- around with my stinkin' bottle!" Also no matter how much bottle she has had, she will try this technique to convince you she is still hungry. If she has had like 9 ounces of milk already, all you can do is walk her around and make funny faces at her until she is distracted and gives up the fight. She has convinced many an unfamiliar feeder that she is starving and needs gallons of formula immediately.

And now for Jane: Jane's quintessential characteristic is still her unbelievably beyond belief vocabulary, verbal aptitude, and propensity to conversation. Recently this took the form of her acquiring a new turn of phrase "What a pity."

So she walked up to me and said, "Mama, what is, whatta pity?" and when I didn't understand she repeated it.

So I said "Do you mean, what does 'What a pity' mean?

"Yes."

"You say it when something happens that you are sorry happened, or that you regret."

Blank stare "What is a pity?"

"Pity is the emotion of feeling sorry for someone else."

Blank stare "wutta pity, wutta pity, wutta pity... what is pity made of?"

"Well Jane, I guess let me give you an example. If you were wanting to go to Manah and Patah's and you didn't get to, I would say "You didn't get to go to Manah and Patah's house, what a pity."

Jane then laughs and says "Oh, I like that. Tell me another one."

"Cooper and Molly didn't get dinner yesterday, what a pity."

"More pity, please Mama."

This continued as I gave nearly twenty examples, and she just ate it up.

"This new mattress is uncomfortable, what a pity."

"There will be no chocolate for the next year, what a pity."

"It is hot and there is no air conditioner in the Jeep, what a pity."

Later that night she turned to me, when I said I wasn't hungry for dinner, and she said, "You don't want to eat Papa's delicious dinner, what a pity."

Keep in mind here she is 2 years and 4 months old. Crack-up.

More than a month, is anyone out there?

So sometimes I wonder if any one reads our blog at all. I mean, I get some great comments every once in a while, but sometimes, it feels like I just out it all out there into the electronic nothingness.

So in the past month, I went back to work, Macy started daycare, Jane started potty training herself all on her own, and I had my gall bladder removed. All of them are much too long of stories to get into, but know that we all seem to be doing okay, and on the right track again.

The girls had a great Halloween, enjoy the pictures, if anyone is out there. Jane was a giraffe, and Macy was a cowgirl. Very cute.

So I think We've Done It!

So Wednesday night (day 3) was so bad that I was too exhausted to write about it the next day. Jane screamed in her bed for almost 40, Mars and I went in twice, and in a very no non-sense way, we let her know that we were sorry she was having a tough night, but that she was fine, and should snuggle up with her blanket, and go to sleep. The interesting thing is that she never really was screaming or asking for a passie, she seemed to completely get that a pacifier was not an option.

Finally after nearly an hour she got quite, and seemed to go to sleep around 9:45pm. The bad part was that she woke up around 5:15 that morning, and was then completely up! She was cranky and Mars and I were even crankier.

But that must have been a turning point because Thursday, Friday, and all through the weekend it has been fine. No crying before bed, and sleeping all the way through till 6:30am or so.

I feel nervous saying it, but... success, success, success. Thank you Dr. Holden, thank you Martin and Pareen, and thank you to all the mom's who gave us advice on how to get this done.

Now what do we do about Macy? No passies for her at all, stop sooner, arg! There is always something.

No Pacie - Night Two

So I can't say that night two went as well as night one. Jane asked about her pacie a couple times during the day, but then would say, "we have no more pacies, we gave them to the dentist." Nap time went pretty well, she seemed to sleep about the same.

But bed time was a different story. She didn't really ask for it specifically, but she seemed to just be sad and quick to cry in general. Though she toddled off to bed pretty easily, she was up again around 10pm, and just could not seem to get herself calm and soothed down. She didn't ask for the pacie, which I guess proves that it is good to just visibly get rid of them (in front of her like we did), because she seems to totally get that they are gone. She just doesn't have another skill developed yet to soothe herself to sleep. So she had some water, plenty of hugs and then we put her down again.

She talked herself to sleep, but woke up this morning at 5:40am (about two hours earlier than normal) and since bed is now much less appealing, she wanted to get up right away. Mars and I were pretty exhausted, but hadn't really discussed what we would do in the morning, so we got up with her up. If this happens again we are definitely going to insist that she say quietly in her room until at least 6:30am.

But once we were all up in the kitchen having breakfast, in the dark, she was so tired. She clearly didn't sleep well, and she kept crying and getting into trouble, and had had three major tantrums (which had actually been on the decline lately) and two "thinking times" (which are kind of our versions of time-outs) before we even left for pre-school.

The pre-school drop-off went well though, and I let the teacher know she may need a few extra hugs today, so who knows.

No Pacie - Night One

So today we did it. Though the big girl bed had not continued past the first two nights, we had planned that when Jane had her 2 year old dentist appointment that we would quit the pacifier, finally.

So the plan was, we go the dentist where Jane has her first teeth cleaning. Dr. Holden would tell Jane that she is a big girl who is too big for pacifiers. At the dentist they have a big baby bottle shaped bin where kids can put their pacifiers to "give to other babies who need them" and then the big girls and boys get to pick a toy from the special toy cupboard. We would augment this, by adding a special gift that would arrive from the "Pacie Fairy" (an idea we stole from our good friends Martin and Pareen) right before bed. We thought that bed time would be the hardest time, since it was the only time that Jane could consistently have her pacifier.

So we did it, and each step went off with out a hitch yesterday. At bed time there was a moment of great sorrow, but luckily the Pacie Fairy gift was a very snugly blanket and a cute pair of slippers, which were a great distraction. She asked to sleep in her crib, which we were fine with, and she slept all the way through to the morning, so...

After Day One the score is Brownsens: 1 and Pacifier: 0

Two firsts

So some big firsts.

Jane, by her own request, is sleeping in her big girl bed for the first time tonight. The bed has been in her room for months, but we weren't pushing it. She would hang out in it, cuddle in it, read books in it, but would always ask to sleep in her crib. Then she started sleeping in the big bed at Grandma Read's house, and then a few naps at Grandma Sues on the trundle bed, and all of a sudden tonight she said she wanted to sleep in her big bed. So who knows we will see how it goes. we told her if she wakes up, that we would put her back in the crib to help her sleep, but so far so good.

Macy laughed today for the first time. I wasn't doing anything in particular, I was just looking at her, and talking to her as I always do, and then there it was a little giggle, and the biggest smile. I loved it.

Mars leaves tomorrow to go to Los Altos for an over night, and it will be my first time having both girls for the night, and Saturday day all by myself, but I know I can figure it out. Go me!

Getting Ready

It's been a month, and a crazy one at that. The girls are funny. Jane is whip smart and totally hilarious. Macy is so lovable and very easy going, and that seems to suit us just fine. Mars is back at school, and been teaching for two weeks, I am trying to make sure I make the most of my time off before going back to work. The dogs wonder if we remember we have dogs.

Our past months included a trip to the hospital (including a 911 call, but everyone is okay) a trip to Lake Tahoe, my birthday, and a very sticky LA heat wave. I could use some time to myself, and sometimes a good day full of nothing to do, but I guess that will come (maybe a few years from now, right?)

As Jane says, when she wants to express the opposite of nobody, "Yes-body is here."

Up Late Packing

Our first picture of Jane holding Macy. Macy is getting so big already (7 weeks) and Jane is so proud and is a great big sister.

I don't know how to do it, that's the problem. I don't know how to pack for a trip and get to bed on time, but at this point... midnight I have both girls packed, and Mars has done his stuff and the kitchen things that we need. So it might just be another 30 minutes or so to get my clothes and bathroom stuff into a bag. It will happen. Who knows if the early departure we had planned will be a reality, but we hope to be on the road before morning commute traffic starts.

We have been telling Jane for the past few days that we taking a big trip, and she keeps thinking every time we are getting into the car that this is the "big trip." Can't wait for the real thing tomorrow morning.

We will be taking our double stroller of course, though we do look like a bit of a production at this point.

A bit guilty

(look at those big brown eyes)

Last night Macy slept from 10:30pm until 6:15am this morning (almost eight hours), which I think is pretty darn good considering she is just 5 weeks old. I definitely feel more like a normal person this morning than I have in weeks, and she seems to be pretty happy too.

Jane is off to pre-school today, where drop offs had been pretty rought lately. Last week we did have one great day of drop-off when I put her in pig-tails for the first time. She was so excited to have them, that she seemed to forget that she was going to school, and was just excited to show the other kids and teachers her cute hair. Of course since then she has refused to have pig-tails put in her hair, so who knows. We will find something else, I guess. Any suggestions?

Almost four weeks.

So there have been tough nights, with both girls up, and really fun times, like all the Brownsen's going to Jane's swimming lessons. All in all, we are all doing really well. Enjoy some more Macy pictures.

New Arrival - Macy Layne Brownsen

Well she is here, it seemed like it had been forever, but I am assured it was just the same amount of time it always takes (9 months or 40 weeks, which ever way you look at it) and she is doing wonderfully. I went into the hospital on Thursday 6/18 in the morning, and even though my OB had been swearing for weeks that I wouldn't go that long. There it was, the date that had been identified as the latest that Dr. Chen would possibly let me go before my c-section, and that was to be the day. It seems like Macy might be a bit of a procrastinator, I mean tell her the last minute, and she will be there. Macy Layne Brownsen was born on Thursday June 18, 2009 at 12:17pm, and checked in at 9 pounds 2 ounces, 20 inches long. She is more fair than Jane, and she has a bunch less hair, but has big blue green eyes (right now at least), and the sweetest little pouty mouth.

The c-section was fairly easy and uneventful, much easier than with Jane, when it followed 30 hours of labor. I actually felt great most of the afternoon after the surgery and the reality of abdominal surgery didn't set into until the next day.

So far things are going pretty well, she seems like a typical newborn, sleepy, sometimes fussy, pretty easy to calm, and cute as can be. The smell of a newborn is literally one of the best smells in the world, and she certainly has that wonderful scent. We aren't getting much sleep, but I guess I knew that much.

Jane seems to be doing pretty well with the whole thing. She lets us know when "Macy upset." or when she wonders where Macy is "What that Macy doing?" She has had a few moments of totally crazy tantrums, and some times of really wanting her way about stuff she might not have normally cared about, but who knows how much of that is that Macy is around, and some of it might just be normal two year old stuff. One of the great things, is how helpful all the grand parents have been. She has had some great Grandma Sue days, a bunch of Grandma Read time, and lots of fun with Mana and Patah. Also with Jane's birthday party on the 14th, and then her actual birthday on the 25th, there have been plenty of new toys to distract her, and for Jane to enjoy when things seem kind of crazy. Mana and Patah (my dad and LaVerne) got her a new tricycle (and helmet), and she loves it. Oh the joys of being two!

Funny Things Jane Says

So one thing that Jane is for sure is verbal. I mean the little girl talks all the time.

(okay so to avoid snotty comments or getting my feelings hurt here, I will add all the disclaimers)

- I also talk a lot, and Mars doesn't, so she clearly gets it from me

- I am sure I talked like her when I was little, so any complaints I have, are just me getting what is coming to me

- Yes, I have found someone who talks more than me, and it is my progeny. Irony noted

- It may sound like I am bragging here, but believe me, it is more like commenting on something that seems so odd, and effects several parts of your life, and brings on funny stories. Like having six toes or something.

Okay, so all that aside, she does talk all the time. I mean there is running commentary, and comments on everything, including questions I can't answer, and clarifications if I get it wrong. All this from a little girl who isn't even officially two yet. I had to note some of them here, so that for you who don't see her every day you can have an idea of what we are dealing with.

She asks a lot of questions, most of them have to do with what people are doing. "Who that Papa talking with?" What that Mama doing?" "What that dull-dozer [bulldozer] doing?" "What that Papa eating?" "Jane make you a beet-o? [burrito]?" "What that Mama and Papa talking about?"

She adds "that" before every third person subject, even if it is her and me and Mars in the car, and the Mama and Papa she is talking about is us.

She also negotiates well. She said this morning. "Jane, five minutes of kib [crib] before shoes." She often says "Jane play kitchen, and no eat oatmeal." "Jane have picnic food, right here." (this means eating on the floor and not at a table or in her highchair) "Jane have bubbles in bath, no wash hair."

She also has distinct ideas of what things should be called. She calls skunks "gunks" and if you try to correct it, she says "No...gunks" She says that "Seagulls" are at the top of flag poles not "Eagles" She calls her self "Dean" including saying "J is for Dean" and she calls my dad "Pata" and Laverne "Mana" and who knows why.

Also at times she seems philosophical beyond her years. Saying things "Water makes Jane happy." and "Mama no likes this song, only Jane likes this song." And above all the other week Mars and I were driving and I was complaining about being uncomfortable because I am so pregnant. I asked him "When do you think this baby will come?" he paused, and Jane pipes up from the back seat "In due time." I kid you not.

So what does this all mean to us. Probably that it will only get worse from her to 14, and then she will completely stop talking to us for 5 or so years. Maybe she will be a talk show host. I can see her no, no pronouns, lots of referring to people in the abstract third person. It's a hit.

Jane's 2nd Birthday

So no pictures this time, but some wonderful times, and lots of hope that this new baby is healthy and happy, and comes sometime soon.

So Jane's birthday party was wonderful yesterday. Many of our friends and Jane's friends came, and had a great time.
Highlights:
- 23 months old Freddy relaxing IN the water table, my 29 year old brother commenting "Freddy is the coolest kid I know, I hope I can be like him when I grow-up."
- Norah wanting to play in sandy area of the park, as long as it didn't involve getting sandy.
- Freddy being the only kid who could figure out how to make the water come into the water table by himself, and Jane standing on the other side drinking the muddy water that flowed out of the water table
- Elana and Jane sliding backwards (butt first) down the slide together, and then screaming "Again" when they got down to the bottom together
- Marley artfully eating her cupcake, as Jane covered her mouth eating just the frosting
- Duncan taking our clean-up broom and deciding to sweep the park
- Mae and Zori trying to hold each others hands and chew on each others faces at the same time
- Dave taking Norah and leaping to catch the bubbles that Taylor was blowing

It was a great day in the park, and Jane sang herself to sleep last night singing "Happy Birthday to Jane" and then slept in to 8:15am. So a great day for Jane, and a great night for Mama and Papa.

This baby should come any day now, or so the doctors keep telling me. Though I am becoming increasingly convinced they don't know very much at all. It is all a big guessing game I think. Thursday will be the latest it will go, as it is the day I am scheduled for my c-section, if nothing happens before. Thank you for all the love and support.

Tough Days, and Tough Nights

So probably because I ask her, "Are you having a tough day?" when she is crying or seems unhappy. Jane has now taken to saying. "Tough day, Mama." when she is unhappy. And we have been hearing it a lot lately.

"Tough day, Mama." when she can't wear her orange crocks to school (I hate those shoes)
"Tough day, Mama." when I won't open the shower door and let her join me in the shower with her clothes on
"Tough day, Mama." when the plastic hangers don't work for hanging up stuffed animals in the closet
"Tough day, Mama." when she wants to eat yogurt and won't wear a bib
"Tough day, Mama." when Papa says you have to sit down in the bathtub
"Tough day, Mama." when she would like to ride in the open part of the shopping cart, even though we have never let her do that in her life
"Tough day, Mama." when I want to listen to NPR for just 10 minutes, and she wants to listen to "Row Row Row... Boat" for the 700th time

And now since I am 35 weeks pregnant, I am having a tough time sleeping, and I have caught a cold (I don't even know one other person in the world with a cold right now, so how did I get this?). So last night. which was like the 3 or 4th night in a row where I just could not sleep. I found myself saying to Mars, "Tough night, Papa."

This too shall pass.

Cut It Off, Cut It All Off!

So as many parents, I am sure, can relate, hair is quite a repeted battle in our house. Whether it is washing it, drying it, brushing it, pulling it out of Jane's face all the time, keeping food out of it, etc. It has become a topic all its own. That said, Mars and I, and Jane, had been talking about cutting it off for a few weeks. You know, I have a new baby coming, it is hot and summer, and why add any additional complications. So this weekend we did it. We went to a little barber shop in El Segundo, Marcy's, and Jane sat very still, and a lovely woman named Tammy, cut it all off. I love it, Jane loves it, Mars seems good with it.

Okay, so the picture took a while, but here it is.

Oh, that Easter thing.

So I guess, I loved holidays until I had a child of my own. I mean with the expectations, and the things you "should do" it sometimes seems like a lot, but this Easter was truly easy. We went to Pata and Mana's house, and did an egg hunt on Sunday afternoon. Jane was a happy camper, we really enjoyed it, and we had some of the best pictures ever. (scroll down)

There is so much Easter excitement

Let the egg finding begin!

Quite a good egg haul (the ones we could keep away from the dogs)

AND THE BEST ONES

The Jane you know.

The Jane we know, and love. She cracks me up!

Kayaking With Papa

So against my better judgement. Mars took Jane out on a sea kayak last a few weekends ago. Jane loved it, and was very well behaved (except for the picture where she is standing up). They did stay in the harbor, and though Jane was not clicked into anything, she had her wetsuit and life vest on. She got to see her favorite animal sea lions, up close.

It is all going so well, and then she stands up, but oh well. That's why kids have two parents, right?

Spring Splendor

Last weekend, we took a road trip to Pebble Beach to visit Aunt Kate. Jane was a trooper in the car for six or seven long hours, she liked the big backyard, and the boats in the harbor. She and Uncle Dave had a mini-photo shoot in the clover and flowers in the backyard. I feel relived because her hair cut finally looks normal.

Fun With Friends

So lately we have been very lucky because Jane is truly starting to enjoy the company of her "friends." She likes to play with (as opposed to near) other little kids, and we have taken advantage of the many friends we have near by, to all of our great joy.

In late February, Jane and I went to the LA Zoo with Heidi, Freddy, and Scott (who Jane calls "Tack" or "Sock" alternately). They were great together, played peek-a-boo in the Meercat exhibit, they went into the petting zoo and brushed the goats (this is an activity that spurned its own song by Jane called "Brush, brush, Brush Your Goat." sung to the tune of "Row Row Row Your Boat"), they ran around, smelled stinky flamingos, and she talked about it for days.

In early March we babysat for Zadie while Tori and Kate had a work activity. Jane worked on being gentle and patient with a toddler who is just a bit younger and smaller than her, and doesn't talk, much to her frustration. They had a great time. Since everyone tells me all the time how much Jane looks like Mars, it was really the first time, where I looked at her that day and thought, wow she looks a bit like me too. Especially in the photo with them both in the little car. They also had a sippy cup drinking contest, which was some how hillarious to them, but we didn't get the joke. Zadie would drink her cup, and Jane would watch, then drink her own cup, then they would crack-up together.

Just a week or so ago we went to Jane's first concert, we saw Dan Zanes, and Jane loved it. Kirstin had come up with the great idea, and I think the girls loved it. They sang, clapped, danced, and left totally wiped-out.